Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

I have always considered myself God’s child. For someone who grew up going to church all my life this was a given. I just knew. I never think much about my behaviours as a child because I didn’t think that anything I did could impact my relationship with God. Even if I didn’t have an earthly father to be there for me, I believed that my Heavenly Father was the perfect father. As a child I dreamt about my earthly father being there for me just the way God promises He would be there. But for most/all of my life my dad was physically absent (even when I could see him). Yet, I knew I belong to my earthly father. And even more, I knew I belong to my Heavenly Father. I knew before I knew anything about the consequences of sin.That’s the beauty of God. He leads us with such care and teaches us just how much we need to know.

When I became an adult, I became more intimate with sin, the deceptions and the pain it leaves behind. Just the same as how God nourished a personal relationship with me as a child with a kind of conviction and confidence, it wasn’t until I really became an adult, I realize Satan was doing the same thing to me, subtly. Once I moved out from the people who kept my life in check, my family and my spiritual family, I was all alone at University in a dorm. I was certain the Lord provided this room on campus at a challenging period of my life. Blessings sometimes come wrapped in their own challenges (or growth opportunities). This was the time Satan struck out at me. I questioned my beliefs, who I was, my relationship with God, and God himself. Soon enough I believed that I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do. Satan helped me believe that my freedom should not be limited by Christian beliefs. That’s how seeds of doubt and confusion were planted. The easiest way to get rid of these I have come to learn is, just go with it. Instead of using spiritual wisdom to wrestle against “flesh and blood” and the snares of the enemy, it’s easier for the flesh to just do what feels natural. The guilt that comes thereafter goes away.

READ MORE: What is your favourite fruit?

The more I found myself wrestling less and feeling guilty less, I began to take this freedom to higher and higher notches. And yea, it felt good not to always be thinking about what it right or wrong. What do people do in their 20s right? You party, you travel, and you have a lot of fun. Fun can be defined as whatever you want to do. But, my eyes began to open to Satan’s traps little by little. When I got my first scare of a STD in South Korea, my body felt so disgusting to me. I didn’t even want to touch my own body. That was my wake up call of the tricks of sin. They are dressed up so refined, and rather than leaving the fruits of the spirit, love, kindness, gentleness, etc, you get a taste of lice! I thought I had learnt my lesson but after a few years, I forget. And like a pig, I get muddy again.

There comes a time when we have to stop and assess our behaviours. Become spiritually mature. Are our behaviours serving us for the better? For years, I have made the same mistakes, thinking I found love and it turned out to be a fake (or a frog). But, this I am learning, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” My passions and desires cannot direct my steps because they take me in the wrong places, and I get hurt over and over again. The only thing I ought to seek after is Christ because when I do, the Holy Spirit will take care of everything else.

READ MORE: Find fulfillment in seeking the things above

With the Holy Spirit, even our mistakes begin to serve God’s purposes. As an adult, I have come to learn that God doesn’t waste anything, not our pains, our hurts or wounds, and not our tears. They all mean something to our Heavenly Father. So, whether or not your earthly father was present for you, this is no reflect on your Heavenly Father’s promise: “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed” (Deuteronomy 31:8). And while you do not see your Heavenly Father, He is present and hearing every one of our prayers. He’s no Santa Claus that shows up once a year, this God that says,”Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool” (Isaiah 66:1), is present even in the worse places of our lives. So let Him help you, because there are times you just can’t do it alone.