Sometimes the heart makes the best decisions. The first time I returned to Jamaica, I fell in love. And I simply could not stop thinking about going back. It was this recurring daydream. After a series of events, I made up my mind that I would return a second time, and I would have a real purpose while there. I decided on writing a book. It turned out that pursuing an MBA and becoming an author were not realistic to pursue together. So, the MBA took precedence. The thing I love is that, it really didn’t matter what I did, I just needed to live and breathe in the tropical, sacchariferous paradise.
Now it’s been more than a year since I have been in Jamaica, and the culture and the people are growing on me. It’s not the first time I’ve been away from home for a length of time, but there is this magnetic pull I feel here that is simply too potent to resist. It’s hard to make up my mind to leave, though I see the months dashing by. I continuously have to answer the questions: “Do you plan to leave when you’re done? or are you planning to stay here?” with hestitation. I seem to be waiting for the sky to open up and to declare: Follow your heart. This I know all too well already, for my heart really does make the best decisions. Yet it is hard to trust it sometimes without facts.
Related: Follow my heart?
Following the heart almost sounds like a musical note in the distance pulling you in the direction of its melody; or the smell of a savory meal calling you to indulge. With grace you are allured to this place of satisfaction, and perhaps, there is nowhere else you’d rather be, at least for that moment. Reality eventually set in and you have to face the facts.
The fact is: I will need to make money to live and sustain myself. But this is not necessarily encased to any specific geographical region. There is nothing pressing to hurry back to that can’t be taken care of at a distance. But as it stands, I am legally not allowed to work here. However, this dilemma can be resolved. So, what is my heart really telling me? Months ago, I made a decision. I would pack my bags and go home as soon as I completed the program; yet my resolve is shaky- that is not what my heart wants.
I am in love and it’s hard to ignore my heart in this decision, facts or no facts. Living in Jamaica has given me a deeper purpose in life to pursue, and a deeper desire to relish. My heart has made its decision, but my mind is having trouble choosing to follow the heart or wake up to reality. Sooner or later life will unfold in its own special way. Perhaps, my heart will win, but if it doesn’t, I will forever remember Jamaica, and I vow to come back.
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