Often, we can never truly say what we really want. What we really want is clouded by what society says we should want, what our families, friends and even the church says. It’s like a democracy in our heads- everyone gets a vote, except for us. Because, we tend to overlook our own votes. I’m more into the dictatorship kind of rule, but that’s just me. I already know what we North Americans have to say about that, because we want to believe in freedom of speech, and all the other freedoms and rights we have as a people. We want to believe that our votes should count, but do they always get counted? If we can overlook our own votes sometimes, who is to say that our government isn’t doing the same thing?

The truth? In large societies, the commoners never get what they want. Maybe if we were to shrink the population to what it used to be when democracy first existed, then maybe, but not now. The people who get what they want are those who shout the loudest, those who are seen the most, and those who aren’t afraid to step on other people. As for you and I, the commoners, we don’t matter. Not unless we are willing to scream, fight, and be selfish. But, many of us are too shy, too modest, too sensitive so we allow others to dictate what goes on in our lives, and then listen to them justify their actions with the term, “democracy”. Since, democracy hasn’t spoken out for me yet, I figure I’ll have to speak up for myself.

When it’s time to make any decision about my life, I find that I have to ask myself, “What would my pastor say about this, what would my mother say? Would my friends approve?” This is getting tedious and decisions never get made in these situations. There are too many people to account for. The problem is, what happens after the decision is made? If we’re not happy, then what? Doesn’t it matter? I will complain to my mother who will say, “You know baby, you made a good decision”. But if it’s such a good decision, why am I not happy with it?  I’m coming to the realization that ultimately I am the one who lives with every decision I make- good and bad, not the members of my church or the pastor or my family, so does it really matter how they feel? And more importantly, why should they get a vote when it comes to my life? Why am I overlooking my own vote to please others? This is what I want to know. To heck with democracy then. When it comes to my life, there is no need to scream or fight; but yes I’m sure going to be selfish, because this is a dictatorship we’re talking about.

Dictatorship is the way to go because as the word indicates, one person is in power and gets to decide on the end result. I may consider advice from the important people in my life and ensure that the decision that I make will not cause harm or sadness to those I love and care about, but in the end, it will not suffice me to make choices that will cause hurt and pain to myself. I will make my decisions in respect to other people, but I will not have others decide for me. I wish the government functions this way too because as we see in most countries that call themselves, “democracy”, there is always somebody or a small group of people that benefits, and a larger group that suffers by the decisions made by the government.

It seems to me that most people’s judgements are clouded by their current situations of stress, poverty, unemployment, and taking care of our children,  that it is so hard to see what’s really going on. We are satisfied that we live in a democracy and feel comfortable that if we choose to- we can exercise our rights and freedoms. It’s like living with a gold tooth, assuming that one day we can sell the gold and be rich, but all the while, the gold is causing pain and cavities.  While we sit comfortably in our own sufferings, others out there are getting their voices heard. Democracy works for those who aren’t shy and sensitive. It’s a big bad world out there, and in general the rule of thumb is: Nobody out there really cares about our needs. If we want our votes to count, we have to do a lot more than cast a ballot, that’s all I’m saying.