Oops, I did it again

Three months exactly, and he didn’t see it coming. I gave him an ultimatum and now it’s over. Is it my fault? Well it usually is. I don’t know how my subconscious mind detects timeframes. What I do is make changes that the guy just cannot live up to and expect him to change himself. Is it that I think I should get whatever I want, whenever I want? Do I think I somehow possess superpowers, so that any frog from the pond will magically change into a prince? When will I get it? At twenty-seven years old, you’d think I would learn.

All these years I’ve been dating frogs and it seems I haven’t grasped any of the lessons. I replay the same dating situations over and over again. How could I expect John to suddenly sleep elsewhere when all along he sleeps in my home when he visits? Why do I think he is now going to spend his Sundays in church with me when Sunday is the only day he gets to sleep in? After he received the ultimatum he said, “It seems like I’m being punished for all the other guys”. He found it hard to adjust to a life with me; because it would mean that his life would have had to change. He already travelled over two hours to visit me, “how much more will I have to sacrifice?” he said. I don’t blame him. I can’t tell him that I’m going to marry him when I don’t know that. So, truthfully I think John made the right choice to stay in his comfort zone. Frogs like the pond, why would they move into a castle?

I want a prince, not a frog. Why then do I keep walking to the pond hoping to find a prince? If church is so important to me, for God’s sake why don’t I just pick a guy that already goes to church? If marrying an intelligent and educated man is so important to me, why do I keep picking the ignorant? The decision seems easy but I don’t often get the details about the guy’s life until the three month point, and that’s when I realized, he wasn’t the prince I thought he was. It’s not my intension to date frogs or to change them, it’s just that while hoping for a prince and thinking I found one, I realized, he’s nothing but a frog.

At three months though, I never cling to the frog when I realize that’s what he is. I throw them back in the pond and I move on. The mistake I make is that I always find a different pond to look. So it is my fault, not John’s. John was wonderful, better than any other guy I met. Sure there were a few things that I disliked, but all together he was ideal. My only requirement was that he needed to commit to God and commit to going to church. And knowing what I know about him, he would have gone to church with me and enjoyed it. But when you add the fact that he doesn’t live in the same country as I do and it was getting expensive to see me, choosing to be with me would just be too much. John wasn’t just a frog, he was closer to being a prince and although we ended it, I’m wondering if a divine presence could work things out, for I now know that I do not possess any superpowers.

When I do start searching again, I will use my own intelligence and do more of an in-depth examination of the man; to be sure he is not another frog. Now, I know my prince is not going to magically appear, I’m going to have to find him in a castle and not the usual ponds I like to frequent.

Categories: Health and Wellness

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